One day I was walking around and then I saw a bright light. I went towards it. Then a hole opened up in the ground. I fell for what felt like forever. When I landed I was in a little room. It was lit by a dim light and hole in the rock roof. I realised I was underground but I didn't see any way out or anything to climb on too reach the roof. But I had just remembered that I had just shopping and maybe had something to help me. I reached in to my bag and pulled out..........
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Hi Emelia- You immediately grabbed my attention with your first sentences and kept me interested. Your sentences are a little short- try using connectives like "and", "so" or "because", to join them together. I think this could make your stories flow even better. Good work.
ReplyDeleteFiona (Team 100wc)